Hello friends,
I took a week’s break, and though it was hectic, it gave me a much-needed pause.
I had my sister and nephew over, and we had such a good time together. We painted, played games, listened to music, tried new dishes, and had long conversations.
Every year, we try a new activity together, usually some kind of craft. He is not too keen on drawing, colouring, or painting. Neither am I. So this time, instead of our usual origami adventures, we decided to explore painting together.
I set up the watercolour paper, got him a small cup of water, and handed him a brush. He looked at me and asked, “What do I do?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Let’s find out.”
“But I don’t paint.”
“Neither do I.”
He dipped his brush into the colours, played tentatively, and made his first painting. He was thrilled. Over the four days he was here, he made several paintings.
Later, I heard him telling his mom, “You don’t have to do anything with me. Just sit next to me while I do things. That’s how I painted.”
That stayed with me.
What helped him was not instruction, encouragement, or being pushed to try harder. It was the presence of another person who was not interfering, monitoring, or evaluating him. I was doing my own thing. He was doing his. And that seemed to make the task feel possible.
Today, I want to explore this concept, called body doubling, and how it can help us initiate tasks and sustain attention without over-exerting ourselves.
Enjoy the read!​
​Siri🌱🌀
The Magic of Body Doubling
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.” - Calvin and Hobbes
For some New Year goals, you might be struggling to take the first step, or the second, or the third. At some point, starting begins to feel strangely difficult, even when the task itself is not especially hard.
Often, what makes starting difficult is not the task, but the amount of effort required to push ourselves into it, alone.
So how do we initiate actions that seem heavy and stay with them once we begin?
Body doubling is a practice I have used since 2020 to both initiate tasks and sustain attention.
We see versions of this in many group settings. In meditation retreats, practitioners often sit for long hours in group practice, even if they struggle to manage twenty minutes alone later. In CrossFit sessions, participants complete workouts that would feel impossible on their own. Even working in a café can make certain tasks feel easier than doing them alone in a closed office.
Body doubling is the practice of doing a task in the presence of another person, in person or virtually, with the other person not actively helping with the task.
Their presence offers attention support, social anchoring, and external regulation.
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The distinction between body doubling and peer pressure matters here.
Peer pressure increases effort through comparison and evaluation. It asks us to do more, keep up, or perform better. While this can be effective in the short term, it often relies on self-pressure and can lead to exhaustion, especially for people who already tend to over-effort.
Body doubling works differently. It does not ask you to do more. It allows you to do the task without being alone. There is no monitoring, no correction, and no expectation to perform. The presence is psychologically safe, which lowers the internal cost of effort and makes it easier to begin and continue.
This is what seemed to help my nephew. Without pressure or evaluation, he was able to explore something he believed he could not do. The task did not change. His capacity to stay with it did.
I have used body doubling to write newsletters, develop business strategies, design products and workshops, review my finances, do my taxes, and even establish my morning routine.
I also use it in coaching sessions. At times, we set a timer for ten minutes, and I stay on video while the client rests or works on something they have been avoiding. The presence of another psychologically safe person often helps regulate the nervous system and reduces the need to push through resistance.​
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Body doubling is not magic. It is effective because it replaces self-pressure with safe presence and support.
Try this
Choose a task you have been putting off. Find a body doubling partner, through friends, family, or a paid community, and do the task with their quiet presence.
Where am I using pressure to get things done, when what I actually need is support or shared presence?
If you would like to explore this further in a focused coaching session on building support systems that help you move forward without burning out, you can book a conversation with me.
Siri’s Pick
Here is a popular YouTube channel that offers virtual body doubling. This can be effective if you are unable to find someone in person.
​Merve​
Bye for now.
Siri 🌱🌀
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