Hello friends,
My friend has a simple rule: every time she buys new clothes, something from her wardrobe goes into her donation pile.
One in, one out.
It sounds simple and obvious, but pay attention to what she's actually doing. She is refusing to let addition happen without subtraction. She's treating her closet as finite space with clear priorities.
Most of us add to our wardrobes instead of subtracting straight away. We wait until we can't close the cupboard doors, and then we purge in desperation.
We do this with our work too. We just keep adding. And adding. Until our body breaks down.
Until we have a panic attack, or our blood pressure shoots up, or we burn out so completely that our brain keeps repeating on loop: "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I quit. I quit."
Today we'll explore our tendency to default to adding rather than subtracting.
Enjoy the read!
Siri
The Research: Why We Default to Adding
In 2021, researchers at the University of Virginia ran a series of experiments that revealed something striking about how we solve problems.
They asked people to improve various things: a Lego structure, an essay, a daily schedule, a travel itinerary. Across eight different experiments, the same pattern emerged.
People overwhelmingly defaulted to adding elements rather than removing them, even when subtraction was the more efficient solution.
In one experiment, participants were shown a Lego bridge that was too low for a toy figure to pass under. The simplest solution? Remove one supporting brick. Only 12% of people thought of it. The rest tried to add: building ramps, stairs, workarounds.
The researchers call this subtraction neglect.
Our systematic tendency to overlook removal as a solution. It turns out we’re so conditioned to add that we do it even when it costs us more time, effort, money, health and energy.
What This Looks Like at Work
This is exactly what I see in coaching sessions. My clients have made their mark at work by being problem solvers, by being ready to take up challenges, by not saying no.
They are the go-to people for their bosses and their teams. All problems fall in their lap to solve.
They end up taking on extra projects they aren’t accountable for. They become the dumping ground for every ‘brilliant idea’ their boss has during morning runs, which they have to execute with a brief that is a single line.
They find themselves overwhelmed and overloaded with work.
The Illusion of Infinite Resources
Time is not an infinite resource. Neither is energy. We all know that.
Yet many of us keep adding things to our plate, pretending as if we have infinite stable energy throughout the day, week, month or year.
Subtraction is challenging because it can trigger a psychological loss of control over the situation, over ourselves. We keep adding things even at the cost of our health.
Even when my clients temporarily say no and don’t take on additional projects, the instinct is so ingrained that within a few days, they find themselves overwhelmed again.
Subtraction neglect is real. We overlook removal, reduction, elimination, automation, delegation as solutions to our overcrowded work and lives.
Reflection to Guide Your Subtraction
If you’re feeling the weight of too much on your plate, here are some questions to help you identify what to subtract:
- Start with reality: Write down everything currently on your plate. If you feel overwhelmed just by looking at it, you know it is time to subtract.
- Question ownership: Which of these tasks or projects are truly yours? Which ones have you taken on because you couldn’t say no, or because you’re the default person everyone turns to?
- Examine the return: What are you getting from each commitment? Does it serve your growth, your goals, your values? Or are you doing it out of obligation, fear, or habit?
- Look for the pattern: When you take on new work, what are you not saying no to? What keeps you adding when you know you should subtract?
- Name the cost: What is this overcrowded plate costing you? Your health? Your focus? Your presence with family? Your capacity for work that actually matters?
- Consider the opposite: Instead of asking “What more can I do to manage this?”, ask “What can I remove to make this manageable?”
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If you’d like support in working through these questions and identifying what to subtract from your work and life, book a coaching session with me. We can explore your patterns around addition and create a sustainable approach to saying no.
The Permission to Subtract
My friend doesn’t wait until her wardrobe is bursting to make space. She makes subtraction part of the process from the start.
What if you did the same with your work? What if every time you said yes to something new, you asked: what am I going to remove to make room for this?
You don’t need to wait for the breakdown, the burnout, the moment when you can’t take it anymore.
You can start subtracting now.
Siri’s Pick
Here's a Stanford d.school lecture by Leidy Klotz, an American scientist and the author of Subtract (and one of the researchers of the University of Virginia study), on "The Untapped Science of Less".
The Untapped Science of Less with Leidy Klotz - Masters or Creativity - Stanford d.school
Bye for now.
Siri 🌱🌀
